23 Things…

This actually started out to be a list of 22 truths I was writing in a journal as I was nearing my 23^rd birthday. It was going to include things I had learned about myself and life in general over that year.  Well I only got #13...but I found the list the other day and decided to finish it and add #23. So here they are 23 truths I’ve learned about myself and life.

1. Life is short
2. I love to read
3. I don’t like blue cheese- YUCK
4. I complain too much
5. Trials are a good thing
6. Happiness comes from the heart
7. That Tim Magraw song, ya know the one, “You find out who your friends are”  is so true
8. Be careful who you trust, especially with your heart
9. Kids are FOREVER – be sure your ready to have one!
10. Good Habits are easier to develop, than had habits are to break
11. God isn’t keeping me from something good, He’s preparing me for something GREAT
12. God is always enough
13. Kids are brutally honest
14. Answers are not always black and white
15. Two products I personally think you should always spend a little more on and buy the good brands: nail polish and toilet paper
16. As much as I love being around other people I really need my alone time to relax and unwind
17. Work SMARTER not harder (this is not meant to discount the vaule of hard work, it just means don't make things harder on yourself than they need to be!)
18. I have one of the greatest families ever (after seeing the brokenness of some of my students homes I learned how much I’ve taken for granted in my life)
19. Diet Coke = Love
20. Growing up means deciding things for yourself
21. I don’t like running…but I’m trying to learn to like it, because its good for me and I always feel great when I’m finished
22. I love living in Branson…never thought I’d say that, but seriously I think it’s one of the greatest places on earth!
23. I’m truly blessed

I can't wait to see what is instore for this new year. 24 sounds a little old to me...but I know it's not in the big picture. I'm excited to see what God has for me and see what new truths I will discover :)

The End of the First Chapter

   I cannot believe I have already completed my first year of teaching! When I think back to last August and my first day of school I it feels like it was only 10 days ago, but in reality it was 10 months ago. Standing on the other side and looking back over my year I learned so much. I can’t even begin to write about all my experiences. I have only blogged about a few of the stories. For everyone one I wrote this year there are a dozen more that I didn’t find the time for. But I wanted to take time to look back and reflect on some of my triumphs, failures, and lessons in between.

    First, I will share one of my greatest triumphs. On the last full week of school I had my end of the year review with my principal. As we were discussing my strengths she said, “I would like to compliment you on your biggest strength, you are wonderful at forming relationships with your students. I know that every kid in your class knows you love and care for them. And that is something that comes from within, it can’t be taught.” Her compliment was like gold to me. It’s the one thing I wanted her to say because it’s the reason I wanted to teach in the first place. Loving the kids is my core.

    And now a failure…or two. Maybe failure isn’t this right word…weakness is better. There any several things I plan to do different next year. The first is my classroom management (which I think will take time to craft). I’ve always heard “go in strong, be mean at first, gain their respect and then you can back off.” Well mean isn’t something I do well. Sure I get upset and I get angry, but I was surprised at how much I wanted my 8 year olds to like me! My plan for next year is to be more firm (firm and friendly to be exact, thank you Kara Swofford). But also I really want to instill more respect and trust on my students. I know that if I allow them to take more responsibility up front it will help me and my students in the long run.

    Another area I left weak was differentiating my lessons (teaching to different ability levels). I know my lower and average learners were challenged but I don’t think I did enough to push my highest kids to their potential. Next year I want to take the extra steps to be sure every student is challenged.

    Lessons in between. I learned so many valuable lessons this year. One of the greatest I learned was from the teacher across the hall from me. He taught me to keep smiling no matter what. And if I lost my smile, he would toss me an extra across the hall.

    Also, I learned that what my kids wanted most from me was love. As human beings it is what we crave. I could see it in their little eyes. Some days they didn’t need me to teach me, they just needed me to love them.

    And if I had to give advice to first year teachers I would tell them not to sweat the small stuff. In the end it doesn’t matter how cute your classroom is. It doesn’t matter how many hours you spend preparing your lessons, someone else will teach it better. What matters is being there and giving it everything you have in that moment. Oh yeah, and that it’s ok to leave school before 5 o’clock. It doesn’t make you a bad teacher, in fact I think having a life outside of school makes you a better one!

    I know there are many things I will do different next year, but I wouldn’t change a thing about this one. I’ve grown more as a person in the last 10 months than I maybe in my whole life. Teaching is my passion and it makes me a better person in every aspect of my life. I know I chose the right career. I love it. Plus, I get summers OFF! Seriously, it’s AWESOME. Why doesn’t everybody want to teach??

The Greatest Side Hug Ever

              First things first, I would like to say that I love MAP Testing. Being the unknowing first year teacher that I am, I wasn't sure what to expect.  But now, after having almost completed the MAP, I think it's awesome. Maybe not the actual test itself, but the giving of the test has been great! I get to test the kids in the morning and relax and take it easy with them in the afternoon. We’ve had time to do so many fun things! The best part of it all is that I have even more time to spend on relationships with my students. This afternoon I had my greatest “teaching” moment yet, and it happened while we were making kites.

   As my students were finishing up a project (they made Kite Glyphs, where you add details according to your life. For example, add 3 bows if you are an only child). Anyway, as they were finishing one of my boys, I will call him “Brad” brought his kite up to my desk where I was working on my very own kite. He started comparing and contrasting the things that were a like and different about our lives based off our kites. I was shocked that he was so interested in my life because all year Brad has acted emotionally detached from me and most of his classmates. Seeing his interest I tried not to get too excited (in fear of shutting him down) so I kept on coloring while talking with him. He’d ask me a question about my kite and I’d ask him one back. Finally he said something about this older brother and how he’d just gotten out of jail. Brad has a pretty rough home life.  So I asked him a few questions about why his brother went to jail and then we had a talk about learning from other people’s mistakes and not following in their footsteps. He told me that he didn’t want to be like his brother and that he wanted to be better. I told him that I was proud of him for making that choice and that I loved him.

   After a few more minutes of talking it was time for us to clean up and get ready to head to the bus line. As we were walking out the front doors of the school I thought I would take a chance and ask him for a hug. I knew even asking meant I was taking a major risk, because usually he won’t even give me a high five. If I pat him on the back he jerks away and hides. But today was different. I said, “Brad, can I please have a side hug?” He smiled at me and then quickly slipped his arm around my waist and gave me a little squeeze. I thanked him and then he headed for his bus as I tried to fight back my tears.

              I don’t know what tomorrow will hold for me and Brad. I predict that he will walk in my room like usual, head down and no greeting. But for now I am celebrating the growth we had today. I’m basking in the warmth of this moment. And I will forever hold on to that little side hug. It meant the world to me. I love Brad and I pray that he will always make the right choice.

Lord, Teach Me to Pray

     My small group just finished reading the book Lord, Teach Me to Pray in 28 Days by Kay Arthur. It is a good book and I didn't realize just how much I had learned from it unitl tonight. After a wonderful evening with my small group friends, I wondered why I was feeling restless with God. I felt defeated and unwanted (not by any of my bible study memebers) but with other things. So I decided to get out my prayer journal and pray. 
    Originally when I started writing I was going to pray for my future husband and ask God why it's taking SOOO long for him to get here...but as I started writing I remembered "how to pray" As I wrote, my pen kept flowing and not one word was what I had intended to write originally. Through my prayer God showed me some areas of my heart that need work. I decided to blog about it and include the prayer below so that it can be a reminder to me and hopefully a reminder to others that God is there. Prayer is our connection to him. This is my favorite quote from the teach me to pray book:
       "Someone has said that prayer and the Word are like two wings of a bird- both are necessary if the bird is to fly. And both are necessary if we want to soar in our relationship with our heavenly Father."

Dear Lord,

               Please help me! You are great and mighty to save and I need you to rescue me. I have seen your miracles in my own life and in the lives of others that I love. I know you care for and love me more than anything (I’m your child). You don’t need me, You WANT me. And honestly at times, I don’t want you or your plans, but I know that I NEED you. I’m nothing without your love. You are the maker of heaven and earth. Ruler and creator of ALL, even me. You took the time to create me, even though you knew I’d be sinful and filthy, you made me anyway, because you love me. You designed me and set a purpose for my life. When I stop and think about it I am humbled and awestruck. How can I do anything but praise you? Why do my lips, the very same lips that praise you with one breath turn and slander another brother or sister with the next? Why do I seem to think that my plans are better than yours? I know your plans are higher and bigger and better than anything I could ever dream of. But still I think I know best. I look at my life and the blessings you’ve poured out on me and I still question you. What is my problem Lord? Why am I so selfish and consumed by the things I don’t have? I am a spoiled little brat. I want everything done my way and in my timing. And while I may not through myself on the floor in a tantrum when things don’t go my way, I sure am good at pouting. In fact, it’s actually something I used to take pride in. How sad is that?? Pride itself is sinful. But I was taking pride in the fact that I was so good at pouting to get my way! Like I said, spoiled brat.

                        God, your word tells me that you will grant me the desires of my heart if I will trust in you. For the longest time I was manipulating your word so that I could say, “Ok God I trust you, now will you please give me what I want?”  But I have learned in time that if I fully trust you, my hearts desires will begin to line up with your will for me. I’m sorry God for twisting your words.

                        My prayer tonight is that I continue to grow you will continue to break me of my selfishness. Continue to show me when I try to change your promises to fit my circumstances. Enlighten me with your love and fill me with your joy. Let me be a shining light for you. I want to love you and desire you more than anything else in my life. You alone are worthy. You alone are enough. Forever.

Love,

Janae

Pretty Little Liars

The following is a conversation between me and two of my students today:

This is what was said as I was talking with one of my boys about him calling a little girl in my class a liar (I’ll call him Tommy and her Sarah).

Tommy- “I think it’s fair that I called her a liar, because she called me a bad name first!”

Me- “Well, just because someone says something mean to you doesn’t make it ok to call them a name back. But what name did she call you?”

Tommy-“Uh…well... what was it? Oh yeah, she called me…a pretentious jerk!”

Me-“Oh, a pretentious jerk? Really??

Tommy-“Yeah, that’s what she said.”

Separate conversation – me to Sarah

Me-“Did you call Tommy a bad name?”

Sarah-“No Miss Bass I didn’t’.”

Me-“Are you sure you didn’t say anything mean? You didn’t call him anything like a pretentious jerk??”

Sarah-“No Miss Bass I promise. First of all, I don’t know what that word even means, and second I don’t say things like that because I’m a Christian.”

Haha, you just have to love the stuff they come up with. They are so cute. Sometimes it’s hard as the teacher to know what to believe (however, not in this particular case).  For the record Tommy did admit to me later that he made that up. But it got me thinking a lot about lying. It’s crazy how many times a day I catch my students in lies, from talking in the hallway, to writing mean notes about other students and then signing someone else’s name. And these are only 3^rd graders. Lying isn’t something we are trained to do. Ask the two year old who snuck a cookie when their mom wasn’t looking and 9 times out of 10 they will skew the truth. Lying is something we must be trained NOT to do.

I try so hard to instill in my kids that honesty is the best policy. The other day I heard one of my girls say, “you should just tell the truth, because then your punishment will be less.” Yes, many times this is a perk to telling the truth, but it should not be our motive for being honest. We should tell the truth because it’s the right thing to do. So in Miss Bass’ class (and hopefully through their lives) honesty is the BEST policy!

“What is desired is a steadfast love, and a poor man is far better than a liar.”

–Proverbs 19:22

“Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put on the new self, which is being renewed in the knowledge after the image of its creator.”

-Colossians 3:9

Biographies

I'm a little late on posting this one...

For the three weeks leading up to spring break my students worked on researching and writing biographies. This was a fun and interesting process (I have made a few notes on what I will do differently next year) but overall I was very impressed with my students work. They chose all sorts of famous people to research...from Amelia Earhart and Thomas Edison to Ringo Star and Rob Zombie (I would like to note that I strongly encouraged these two to make other choices, but they insisted!  

Finally once they had finished the research and writing process I invited their parents to come in and watch the students present their biography to the class. I also told my kids that for 5 bonus points they could dress up as their person of interest. It was so much for to see them dressed up! Below I have posted a few of my favorites, if there would have been an award for best dressed they would’ve won!

Big Hearts = Deep Pain

I have a big heart. I get it from my dad. When bad things happen to me or the people I love I feel them very deeply, sometimes I think I feel the pain all the way down to my toes. I am not someone who can turn off my thoughts or worries. When I’m upset about something it shows in everything I do, I’m not very good at hiding my true feelings.

          Lately I’ve been feeling like my big heart is a curse. I have several situations in my life right now that I have absolutely no control over, and it’s killing me because I can’t fix them. When someone I love is hurt I want to rush to their side and help them. If I see a friend heading down a path I know is unsafe I want to run to them and say, “What are you doing, you know this is a bad idea!” (and usually when it’s a friend, I that’s exactly what I do...whether they asked for my advice or not…) But this week I have a couple of my students that I’m worried about, and it’s a different kind of worry than I’ve experienced before. I can only imagine what it must feel like to be a parent and worry about your children. These kids aren’t even technically mine, and I can’t get them off my mind. I know that I am loving them everyday. And I know that I’m “technically” doing everything I can, but I just don’t feel like it’s enough.

          Monday night I went to Coffee Conversations at my church, it’s our ladies night out. The speaker talked about how we are never going to “be enough”. She went through the lies we tell ourselves…I will never be the perfect teacher. I will never be the perfect daughter. I will never be pretty enough. When I get married I will never be a good enough wife….and the list goes on. Then she said that God IS ENOUGH and through HIM we are enough. So tonight as I am feeling 99% defeated and like I’m not enough, I am going to remember that I serve a mighty, powerful God and He is enough. He is enough for me. He is enough for my students. And He is enough for you.

          So even though it hurts like crazy when my big ol tender heart gets broken I am thankful I have it. God gave me it for a reason. And I will continue to love, even when it hurts. It is my prayer that teaching will not harden my heart over time and that I will feel every situation my future students go through like I’m feeling them now for the first time.  

“If our God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give all things.’ –Romans 8:31-32

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” – Philippians 4:13 **This was my Grandma and Grandpa’s favorite verse**

On a brighter note I have a couple cute kid quotes:

The other day I told my kids to put their initials on note cards they are taking for biographies we are writing. I modeled how I wanted this to look and wrote my own initials on the board, JB. I was quick told, “Oh my gosh Miss Bass you are so lucky! You have the same initials as Justin Bieber!”   -I was not as excited as my girls :)

And today when I was feeling down my autistic student lifted my spirits with this one. As we were packing up at the end of the day I told him to get his coat and his backpack ready to which he replied, “Miss Bass, I don’t got my coat and I don’t got my backpack, I’m travelin light!” I was so cute I didn’t even correct his poor grammar!