Originally when I started writing I was going to pray for my future husband and ask God why it's taking SOOO long for him to get here...but as I started writing I remembered "how to pray" As I wrote, my pen kept flowing and not one word was what I had intended to write originally. Through my prayer God showed me some areas of my heart that need work. I decided to blog about it and include the prayer below so that it can be a reminder to me and hopefully a reminder to others that God is there. Prayer is our connection to him. This is my favorite quote from the teach me to pray book:
"Someone has said that prayer and the Word are like two wings of a bird- both are necessary if the bird is to fly. And both are necessary if we want to soar in our relationship with our heavenly Father."
Dear Lord,
Please help me! You are great and mighty to save and I need you to rescue me. I have seen your miracles in my own life and in the lives of others that I love. I know you care for and love me more than anything (I’m your child). You don’t need me, You WANT me. And honestly at times, I don’t want you or your plans, but I know that I NEED you. I’m nothing without your love. You are the maker of heaven and earth. Ruler and creator of ALL, even me. You took the time to create me, even though you knew I’d be sinful and filthy, you made me anyway, because you love me. You designed me and set a purpose for my life. When I stop and think about it I am humbled and awestruck. How can I do anything but praise you? Why do my lips, the very same lips that praise you with one breath turn and slander another brother or sister with the next? Why do I seem to think that my plans are better than yours? I know your plans are higher and bigger and better than anything I could ever dream of. But still I think I know best. I look at my life and the blessings you’ve poured out on me and I still question you. What is my problem Lord? Why am I so selfish and consumed by the things I don’t have? I am a spoiled little brat. I want everything done my way and in my timing. And while I may not through myself on the floor in a tantrum when things don’t go my way, I sure am good at pouting. In fact, it’s actually something I used to take pride in. How sad is that?? Pride itself is sinful. But I was taking pride in the fact that I was so good at pouting to get my way! Like I said, spoiled brat.
God, your word tells me that you will grant me the desires of my heart if I will trust in you. For the longest time I was manipulating your word so that I could say, “Ok God I trust you, now will you please give me what I want?” But I have learned in time that if I fully trust you, my hearts desires will begin to line up with your will for me. I’m sorry God for twisting your words.
My prayer tonight is that I continue to grow you will continue to break me of my selfishness. Continue to show me when I try to change your promises to fit my circumstances. Enlighten me with your love and fill me with your joy. Let me be a shining light for you. I want to love you and desire you more than anything else in my life. You alone are worthy. You alone are enough. Forever.
Love,
Janae
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