Big Hearts = Deep Pain

I have a big heart. I get it from my dad. When bad things happen to me or the people I love I feel them very deeply, sometimes I think I feel the pain all the way down to my toes. I am not someone who can turn off my thoughts or worries. When I’m upset about something it shows in everything I do, I’m not very good at hiding my true feelings.

          Lately I’ve been feeling like my big heart is a curse. I have several situations in my life right now that I have absolutely no control over, and it’s killing me because I can’t fix them. When someone I love is hurt I want to rush to their side and help them. If I see a friend heading down a path I know is unsafe I want to run to them and say, “What are you doing, you know this is a bad idea!” (and usually when it’s a friend, I that’s exactly what I do...whether they asked for my advice or not…) But this week I have a couple of my students that I’m worried about, and it’s a different kind of worry than I’ve experienced before. I can only imagine what it must feel like to be a parent and worry about your children. These kids aren’t even technically mine, and I can’t get them off my mind. I know that I am loving them everyday. And I know that I’m “technically” doing everything I can, but I just don’t feel like it’s enough.

          Monday night I went to Coffee Conversations at my church, it’s our ladies night out. The speaker talked about how we are never going to “be enough”. She went through the lies we tell ourselves…I will never be the perfect teacher. I will never be the perfect daughter. I will never be pretty enough. When I get married I will never be a good enough wife….and the list goes on. Then she said that God IS ENOUGH and through HIM we are enough. So tonight as I am feeling 99% defeated and like I’m not enough, I am going to remember that I serve a mighty, powerful God and He is enough. He is enough for me. He is enough for my students. And He is enough for you.

          So even though it hurts like crazy when my big ol tender heart gets broken I am thankful I have it. God gave me it for a reason. And I will continue to love, even when it hurts. It is my prayer that teaching will not harden my heart over time and that I will feel every situation my future students go through like I’m feeling them now for the first time.  

“If our God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give all things.’ –Romans 8:31-32

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” – Philippians 4:13 **This was my Grandma and Grandpa’s favorite verse**

On a brighter note I have a couple cute kid quotes:

The other day I told my kids to put their initials on note cards they are taking for biographies we are writing. I modeled how I wanted this to look and wrote my own initials on the board, JB. I was quick told, “Oh my gosh Miss Bass you are so lucky! You have the same initials as Justin Bieber!”   -I was not as excited as my girls :)

And today when I was feeling down my autistic student lifted my spirits with this one. As we were packing up at the end of the day I told him to get his coat and his backpack ready to which he replied, “Miss Bass, I don’t got my coat and I don’t got my backpack, I’m travelin light!” I was so cute I didn’t even correct his poor grammar!

Love Quiz

          Valentine’s Day is the best holiday ever when you are a teacher. The kids get so excited about giving out their Valentines, making their Valentine boxes, and of course eating lots of sugary treats. And as their teacher you get lots of sweet notes and fun treats too!

          On Monday afternoon my we had the full out classroom party, with parents helping, cookies, and party stations. The kids loved it and it everything went pretty smoothly. But my favorite part of the day was Monday morning.  That morning we did some Valentine’s themed lessons. During reading we read about the history of the holiday and practiced telling the difference between facts and opinions by reading statements about Valentine’s Day. Then for writing I taught a lesson on figurative language (similes, metaphors, personification, and alliteration). We came up with a list of examples of each; of course they were all about love. It was so fun! Some of my kids were really deep and it was so interesting to see the difference between the boy’s answers and the girl’s answers, even as 3^rd graders they are already so different! For example; one girl said "Love is like a fairytale." and the boy next to her said "Love is death."

       Finally, I had the kids use their figurative language to write poems about love. I even told the boys their poems could be “anti-love” poems. But before they started writing I had them take a little “love” quiz that I put together to help inspire they poetry. It was the highlight of my entire day! Their thoughts on love are great, so I’m going to share some of my favorite answers with you, enjoy!

Question #1: What do you think is the right age to get married?

-25 because if you get married any younger that might be a bad idea

-21, it seems appropriate

-20, 30, 40, or 50

-34 years old

-I think the right age to get married is 25, because you’re not too old and you’re not too young

-100 because I don’t like getting kissed or married

-23 or 25 because I think that’s when my mom and dad got married

*Overall the average age was 25 (which made me happy, there’s still hope for me, haha)*

Question #2: What is falling in love like?

-Having a partner forever

-You just look into each others eyes and you know or not.

-When love knocks down a door and crawls into your heart, it never comes out.

-It’s a tingly feeling

-Falling in love is like a calm river

-Falling in love is like seeing someone for the first time

-It’s like falling into a pool of roses

-I think it feels good and squishy

-I think falling in love is like watching T.V.

-It’s like meeting your dream man

-Falling in love is like getting hit

Question #3: How can you tell if two adults eating dinner at a restaurant are in love?

-If they have a rose in the middle of the table

-Gazing at each other and sticking their tongues out

-The way they look in each others eyes

-If they have candles, dark lighting, fancy clothes, and by the way they talk to each other

-If they are feeding each other

-I can tell if the guy pulls out a ring

-If they are laughing and stuff like that

-They are embarrassing themselves

-If they are mumbling

Question #4 Do you want to love someone SOMEDAY?

-Yes!

-Yes, because I don’t want to be lonely

-Maybe

-Not really

-Yes, yes I do!

-Maybe, I don’t know

-Yes, I want to get married (a boy wrote that!)

Question #5 Do you feel loved? By who?? ( Mom, Dad, Siblings, Friends, ect)

-Yes, I feel loved by my dad

-By my mom and dad

-My family

-Yes, I feel loved by Justin Bieber

-My mom

-I feel loved by my family and friends inklooding (including) you Miss Bass!

-My mom and dad, by you Miss Bass, by my whole family

I love just love their hearts! And I hope reading their thoughts on love made you smile and remember how simple life is as a child. They have it so right sometimes. Being a grown up often complicates the simple joys of life. I know I wish I could be as carefree as some of my students are. It’s a good reminder that life is sweet!

Oh, and here’s a couple of my favorite Love Poems

Love is beautiful

Open for you

Valuable

Everlasting

Love is funny,

Love is sweet.

Love comes in and tickles my feet.

I love you, you love me.

We were meant to be.

Love is super gross.

I do not understand love.

Love is super weird.

It's All About Love

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about love. Not only because Valentines Day is just a few days a way, but because a lot of my friends have been going through break ups recently. When I started thinking about writing this blog it was going to be titled, “For Women Only!” I even looked up some men bashing quotes, but the more I thought about it I realized that guys aren’t the only ones at fault when it comes to failed relationships, women make mistakes too.  

We are bombarded with poor examples of love everyday. Think about it, you get in the car and turn on the radio, 9 times out of 10 you will hear a love song playing. Or it will at least be a song that has something to do with love, wanting love, bleeding love, breaking up, or making up. And TV and movies are even worse. They have tainted love and marriage so much, by making it seem “normal” to sleep around and down playing the sacredness of marriage.

No wonder we live in a world that’s hurting. We are looking to the wrong sources to show us what love is all about. My head has been spinning with these thoughts all day. Then I started thinking about real life examples that show a “true” love (my parents, grandparents, friends, and more).

This made me think of how blessed I’ve been with some great men in my life. So this Valentines Day I’m choosing to honor the 4 most important men in my life; my dad, my brothers, and Jesus.

First, I have been blessed with one of the best fathers a girl could ask for. Seriously, he loves me more than life itself and treats me like I’m the most special girl in the world. He has always told me I’m beautiful and that he loves me. My dad goes above and beyond to make me know how much he cares for me. I used to think that he just did that because he was my dad and I assumed all dads must treat their daughters this way. But I have realized within the past couple of years how rare his love actually is. My dad told me something about love once that I will never forget. He told me, “When I was dating your mom I would have done anything to see her or be with her. I would have driven as many miles as it took to see her. If a guys not willing to do that for you, he’s probably not the right one for you.” For the record, he is still that crazy about my mom. He thinks she is the most beautiful woman in the world and would do anything for her.

Next, my older brother Luke. I am so proud to call him my brother. He is a wonderful example of a loving husband and father. He is an awesome spiritual leader for his family and a great older brother. He told me once when I was going through a break up something along the lines of this, “Janae this is why it hurts so much, God didn’t intend for us to date lots of people. His plan was for us to be with one person forever. So when we give our hearts to people that aren’t in God’s will for us, its going to hurt.” He’s a pretty smart guy that brother of mine, and there is so much truth in what he told me that night.

Then there’s Logan the other “man” in my life. He is such a blessing to me and our whole family. God knew we needed him. He has the most tender and sincere heart of anyone I know. His advice to me on love, “Janae I think you should join an online dating service.”  He’s only 12 (almost 13) but he’s one of the smartest, most grounded kids around, but I’m still too scared to try online dating!

Lastly, Jesus. I know He’s my greatest love and my forever love. He is the one who will never leave me or forsake me. He will supply all my needs. I know this because I can see His work in my life. For example my job, I knew I wanted to teach but I didn’t know where, and he opened the door at Branson and I practically waltzed right in. He is constant and I will continue to trust Him.

So, instead of feeling alone or sad because I don’t have a “Valentine” I will celebrate this year full force and thank the men I do have. I know it’s totally a commercial driven holiday, but I love it! And I’m not going to be one of those lonely girls that pretends to hate it. Besides, I’d say I’m a pretty lucky girl, I have 4 valentines!

 



Snow Days = Fun Days

I've been very productive today on my second snow day of the week...and I just found out they've canceled school for the rest of the week!

I’m not going to lie, I love the snow days!  I know it’s going to stink when we’re going to school until JUNE, but I don’t get bored being at home for a few days. I find all kinds of things to keep me busy (other than the piles of school work I bring home to grade)! For example, yesterday I played Just Dance 2 all day long and cleaned. And today I made two collages. One for fashion ideas that I hung in my closet and one for beauty ideas that I put in my bathroom! (See pictures below)

If you find yourself getting a little stir crazy here are some of my person favorite things to do on a snow day:

-Clean
-Have a movie marathon day (its best of you pick a specific genre, like a dance movie marathon, or you can do a “link the actor marathon” – for example Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride to Julia Roberts and Cameron Diaz in My Best Friends wedding to Cameron Diaz and Ashton K in What happens in Vegas…and so on! 
-Make something crafty
-Clean out and organize your closet - it may not sound super fun, but it feels so great after you’re done!
-Bake something!
-Read
-Journal
-Call a friend you haven’t talked to in a while and catch up
-Talk to friends on facebook chat
-Make hot chocolate for you’re neighbors that are outside playing or clearing off the sidewalks
-BLOG J

Stay safe and stay warm!

We Have a Dream

This week after studying the life of Martin Luther King Jr. I had my students write out their own “I Have a Dream” speech. I told them to include some of their personal dreams as well as their hopes for our country. I did not give them very many ideas. They came up with these all on their own. I was blown away by their responses. They were very heartfelt and thoughtful. Here are a few of my favorites. I corrected their kid spelling so you can understand them. I also changed their names for privacy.

“I have a dream that all the little children with no mom or dad will reunite with their parents. I have a dream that the earth will be green. I have a dream that the poor may not be hungry. I have a dream that the poor will have a home. I have a dream that all of the world could be compassionate and loving.”  

By: Sally

*this little girl has not seen her mom in 4 years.

“I have a dream that I will sing and raise money so I can donate it to charities. I have a dream that we will have no more wars with other countries. I have a dream that no one will feel lonely. I have a dream that people will not fight with fists or weapons, but with words of wisdom. I have a dream that I will have a loving family and so will all of you.”

By: Rebecca

“I have a dream that I will pick up trash and put it in the recycle box.”

By: Timmy

“I have a dream that people will stop killing animals.”

By: Luke

“I have a dream that orphans will find homes. I have a dream that poor people that live of the side of the road will be rich. I have a dream that murders will go to jail. I have a dream that their will be no robbers in the USA.”

By: Sarah

“I have a dream that I will open my own recycling business and be president. I have a dream that I can end world hunger. I have a dream that I can find a home for dogs that don’t have homes.”

By: John

“I have a dream that someone will buy our house so my family can pay their taxes, and that everyone can pay their taxes. I have a dream that I will give my money to charity.”

By: Jason

*It’s crazy the amount of things kids pick up on.

“I have a dream to be in the U.S. Army to help our community and to save our state.”

By: David

“I have a dream that all the cars will be a low price for everyone in the world. Not just for people who are famous.”

By: Danny

“I have a dream that I can be in a band. I have a dream that I can give money to the poor and give food to the poor. I have a dream that I can fix the Branson Bell. I have a dream to save the world.”

By: Logan

“I have a dream that I can be a doughnut shop worker when I grow up like my dad.”

By: Greg

“I have a dream that I will become a downhill snowboarder and give my money to charities. I have a dream that I will change my name to Tony.”

By: Tony Jr.

“I have a dream that everyone will start believing in God and that nobody will trust idols, Kings, and Queens. I have a dream that everyone who is homeless will find money and be able to have shelter again. I have a dream that sick people will begin to feel better.”

By: Maggie

*She asked me if it was ok that she wrote about God, I told her she could write as much as she wanted about God!

It's amazing how much 8 and 9 years are aware of. Childlike faith is such a sweet, sweet gift. I hope that after reading my students dreams you are inspired and encouraged to pursue your own hopes for the future.

Kindness and Compassion

Kindness and Compassion

Over that past few days I have found my self engrossed in the news stories about the shooting in Arizona. Every time I hear new information my tear-filled eyes are glued to the TV screen. There is so much pain and hurt coming from every angle. It seems that everyone wants to point their finger at others in blame, but trying to shame someone else with guilt won’t change the events of that day and won’t bring back the lives that we lost.

Monday night on Nightline they had a special story on “Lone Wolf Killers.”  The story focused on other mass killing sprees and how the common denominator is that they are all “attention seeking crimes.” The gunmen in each case acted out to be recognized, seen, or heard.  The story ended with this statement, "This is a key message not just for the press. [It's] a message for teachers, it's a message for neighborhoods, and it's how we as a society can eliminate something that's distinctively American. "

That story and especially the last line went straight to my heart. I immediately thought about my class and the impact I have on my kids. I have a student in my room that has severe emotional issues. He doesn’t know how to interact well with others, handle his anger, or communicate in general. Yes, I have done my part in reporting my concerns to the school guidance counselor and making sure he gets all possible interventions (I’ve even put him at the top of my Grandma’s prayer list) but still I wonder if I’m doing enough. I have said this many times before, but I didn’t decide to be a teacher because I LOVE math, or because I LOVE reading so much. Sure I like those things, but the reason I am a teacher is because I LOVE kids and because I want to be a positive role model in their lives. Teaching is the avenue that allows me to do just that, LOVE kids.  So many times it’s easy to loose sight of that passion because of all the other things I am required to do…but when I stop and think it all comes back to love.

In my own personal life I am making it a goal to let this tragic event open my eyes others around me. Because of my profession, I get the opportunity to be with kids everyday, but even if I wasn’t a teacher I would still make the same challenge. We all interact with people everyday no matter what your job. For example, my mom and dad interact with customers at their restaurant, my older brother interacts with his co-workers at the City department, my grandparents interact with their friends at bingo, I interact with the cashier at Target. (Yes, I know I should’ve found a synonym for interact but I wanted to emphasize it) We all encounter different people each day. I’m not saying that we need to rush out and try to befriend every person we meet, but we can show them kindness and compassion. It’s as simple as smiling at a stranger, or complimenting your waitress on her cute earrings. Just be aware of others, and willing to look outside of your own world. It’s scary to think how many opportunities to show love we pass up in a single day because we are so concerned with our own life.

I’m not a huge Barack Obama fan, but I really loved this quote from him. It pretty much sums up all that I’ve been feeling over the past few days.

“At a time when we are far too eager to lay the blame for all that ails the world at the feet of those who happen to think differently than we do," Obama said, the killings should make Americans ask themselves "Have we shown enough kindness and generosity and compassion to people in our lives?"

Last, I’ll end with a few scriptures, I like Gods word a lot better than Obama’s!
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
Ephesians 4:1-3
“Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.”
2 Corinthians 13:10-12
“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.”
1 John 4:6-8

High Expectations

High Expectations

I have been thinking a lot lately about expectations. So many times in my daily life I will plan out exactly how I hope something is going to happen…whether it’s realistic or not isn't a consideration when I’m dreaming something up in my head. These “ideas” can be simple or extravagant. For example, in the morning as I’m getting ready for work I might think something as basic as “I hope someone notices that I did my hair different today.” Or as I’m heading to Panera for dinner I might dream up the perfect scenario of how I may meet my future husband there… “We were both refilling our coffee cups then our eyes meet…” (I have watched one too many chick flicks)

We all have expectations. No matter the size, small or well thought out daydreams, we all have them. And sometimes, for me it’s really hard not to be disappointed when my expectations aren’t met. During worship at church yesterday I was reminded that it’s ok to have expectations as long as I’m putting my trust in the right hands. People are sinful in nature. They are going to let us down for time to time. None of us are perfect. But we are saved by a perfect God. His love will never fail us. Sure we may not understand his plan, or why we go through tough situations, but His love is as steady as mountain. So from now on I’m putting my trust in “High” expectations.

I found this passage in Psalm yesterday, I think it fits perfectly.

“Put not your trust in princes, in a son of man, in whom there is no salvation. When his breath departs he returns to the earth; on that day his plans perish.

Blessed is he whole help is the God of Jacob, whole hope is in the Lord his God, who made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, who keeps faith forever; who executes justice for the oppressed, who gives food to the hungry. The LORD set the prisoners free. The LORD opens the eyes of the blind. The LORD lifts up those who are bowed down; the LORD loves the righteous. The LORD watches over the sojourners; he upholds the widow and the fatherless, but they way of the wicked brings to ruin. The LORD will reign forever, your God, to all generations. Praise the Lord!” Psalm 146: 2-10